The Time Traveler's Etiquette Handbook
How to Prepare for Your Next Trip Through Time
Time travel is a delicate art, one that demands precision, humility, and an unwavering ability to blend in. Should you find yourself swept into the courts of Louis XIV or transported to a Prohibition-era speakeasy, there are rules—unspoken yet essential—that separate the seasoned time traveler from the awkward tourist. Ignore these at your peril.
1. Wardrobe: When in Doubt, Understated is Overrated
Fashion has always been the most immediate giveaway of an outsider. That subtle linen blouse you think screams “Renaissance chic”? It screams impostor. Research meticulously. In Elizabethan England, for example, avoid the mistake of wearing purple unless you’re nobility; sumptuary laws might land you in a pillory. If you're traveling to Regency-era England, err on the side of finery rather than frugality; a hand-embroidered waistcoat or silk gown not only grants access to drawing rooms but also invites less scrutiny.
Pro Tip: If unsure, study the servants. Their uniforms are often less flashy but carry crucial cues for blending in. Plus, they’re often invisible in their own time.
2. Speech: Lose the Contractions
Language evolves faster than hairstyles, and while you may be tempted to wax poetic, it’s better to tread carefully. Avoid slang, avoid contractions, and for heaven’s sake, avoid anything that sounds like a TikTok trend. In 18th-century France, for instance, wit was currency. Familiarize yourself with l’esprit and be prepared to trade a sharp retort or clever bon mot. A dullard is quickly forgotten; a fool, swiftly shunned.
Phrase to Practice: In Victorian England, “I beg your pardon, good sir, but might I trouble you for directions to the apothecary?” works far better than “Where’s the drugstore?”
3. Table Manners: Know Your Forks
The dining table has always been a battlefield of decorum. The wrong utensil can upend your credibility faster than an offhand remark about penicillin in the 13th century. In Louis XIV’s court, napkins were a relatively novel invention—use yours liberally but never, under any circumstances, blow your nose on it. Meanwhile, medieval feasts required dexterous use of one’s hands; a fork could mark you as suspiciously modern.
Insider Tip: In ancient Rome, always recline when dining. Sitting upright at a banquet was considered as gauche as double-dipping your bread in the olive oil.
4. Social Hierarchy: Bow Deep, Bow Often
Understanding social strata is paramount. A misplaced handshake instead of a bow could incite offense that reverberates across centuries. In Tokugawa Japan, the depth of your bow signifies your respect; a shallow nod to a daimyo could—and likely would—cost you your head. Learn the rituals of deference before you go.
Avoid This Pitfall: Do not—I repeat, do not—offer a toast in a Viking hall before the chieftain has. You’ll quickly find yourself uninvited to Valhalla.
5. Gifts: Bring the Right Bribe
When in doubt, gift-giving often smooths introductions. For Renaissance-era courts, something exotic (spices, silk, or even a small Venetian glass trinket) would be highly coveted. In ancient Egypt, perfumes and unguents carry immense social value. Research your destination and pack accordingly.
What Not to Do: Offering steel tools to 12th-century artisans may seem helpful, but you risk rewriting the Industrial Revolution before its time.
Final Rule: Stay Curious, Stay Quiet
Time travel isn’t about dominating the narrative; it’s about observing, learning, and, most importantly, surviving. Be humble, stay adaptable, and—unless you’re prepared to defend it—leave your modern sensibilities at the door.
P.S. Here are my favorite imaginary time portals into the past and future. Please enjoy these enchanting storylines until we get the wormholes figured out!
Back to the Future (Time Travel) – Marty McFly travels to 1955 and must correct the past to preserve his future.
Poldark (Period Piece) – Ross Poldark’s dramatic journey in 18th-century Cornwall amid romance and social upheaval.
Outlander (Time Travel & Period Piece) – A WWII nurse is transported to 1743 Scotland, weaving time travel with history and romance.
The Time Traveler’s Wife (Time Travel) – A man involuntarily traveling through time tries to sustain his love story.
11/22/63 (Time Travel) – A gripping miniseries where a man travels back to 1960 to prevent JFK’s assassination, facing unforeseen dangers and consequences.
Downton Abbey (Period Piece) – Follows an aristocratic family navigating life in Edwardian England.
Dark (Time Travel) – A complex German series connecting time travel to family secrets and a mysterious apocalypse.
Atonement (Period Piece) – A tragic love story spanning decades, set against the backdrop of WWII.
12 Monkeys (Time Travel) – A convict journeys through time to prevent a viral outbreak.
Victoria (Period Piece) – A beautifully crafted series about Queen Victoria’s early reign, balancing political drama with her personal life.
The Terminator (Time Travel) – A cyborg assassin is sent from the future to kill the mother of humanity’s savior.
Peaky Blinders (Period Piece) – A gritty drama about the Shelby crime family in post-WWI Birmingham, England.
The Time Machine (1960) (Time Travel) – A classic adaptation of H.G. Wells’ novel about a Victorian inventor exploring distant futures.
Pride and Prejudice (1995) (Period Piece) – The iconic Jane Austen story of love and class struggles in Regency England.
Doctor Who (Time Travel) – The iconic series about a time-traveling alien who explores history, the future, and alternate realities.
Somewhere in Time (Time Travel) – A poignant love story of a man who hypnotizes himself to travel back to 1912.
The Crown (Period Piece) – Chronicles Queen Elizabeth II’s reign and its impact on modern history.
War & Peace (2016) (Period Piece) – A visually stunning adaptation of Tolstoy’s epic novel about love, power, and tragedy during Napoleon’s invasion of Russia.
Groundhog Day (Time Travel-esque) – A weatherman repeatedly relives the same day, leading to hilarious and profound growth.
The Prestige (Period Piece) – Set in Victorian England, this film explores rivalry, obsession, and deception among magicians.
Comment below: What period & location would you travel to if you had a DeLorean?